The Bus

"Take the government bus" he said. "The government bus? What about the private bus? The one with reclining seats and a/c?" I replied. "The government bus to Udaipur is just as good."

This was the conversation I had last night with the guy from my hotel in Jodhpur. I mean, I assumed he should have the experience from being at the hotel and talking to people all these years about such things. The sign above the reception desk said "bus, train and plane tickets here." The guide book didn't say too much, so I needed some help. He said neither buses had a/c, and the government bus was just as good. I said "can you check on the times of the private bus please?" "Ok" he said, and proceeded to make some calls. A few minutes later he tells me "The private bus from Jodhpur to Udaipur is at 7am and 3pm. It's 160 rupees ($3.50)." I said "How much is the government bus?" He said "140 rp." "7:30am?" I replied, "ok, can you get me a ticket on the 7:30am private bus, please?" He tells me "Ok, I'll have it for you in hour." Great.

A couple hours later I come back to the hotel at about 10:30. Everyone who works there is asleep (meaning the whole family and then some.) I try to find the guy, but can't. I wake what appears to be the grandfather, who only speaks Hindi. "Bus ticket" I say. "I need my bus ticket for tomorrow." Another guy finally comes out and tells me the usual Indian line "don't worry." Yeah, don't worry. I tell him "my bus is early, when is the ticket going to be here?" He says, "come here at 6:45 and I'll have it. Don't worry."

I'm worrying. I wake up at 6am, shower, pack my pack, and look for someone to give me the ticket. No one is awake. The entire family is asleep in various places throughout the hotel- the roof, the stairs, the hallway. I finally find the guy and he tells me "the bus is full. No ticket." I'm tired and confusion sets in so I say "No ticket? I'm already up? Why didn't you tell me last night?" He says "You were sleeping."

"So what should I do?" I say. He says "there is a government bus at 11." I ask "what time will I get there?" "3 or 4." I sigh, and try to go back to sleep.

I wake u again, eat something, and grab a rickshaw over to the government bus station at about 10:10 for the 11am bus. Of course, there is no 11am bus. There's a noon bus. But there's also one at 10:30, so I scramble and get the ticket and run to the bus I think is mine. "Udaipur?" I say to anyone who will listen. I think it's the right bus. I get on, and you'd think I was dressed like the burger king or something. EVERYBODY looks at me while I head to the back with my head down. They're all Indian, and there I am with my backpack on the shittiest bus you've ever seen. I sit down in an aisle seat (just in case they mistake me for Kate Blanchett in the window, and realize that this is going to be a long 6 or 7 hours.

My godmother Barbara is hilarious. She always tells us some great stories. One that I'll never forget is the valium tale, which I"ve thought of many times on this trip. She was in China, it was hot and miserable, and she was getting bitten up by mosquitos. It was horrible. All us kids are gathered around while she recites the story to us, holding in bated breath for the details. "What did you do???" we all asked. "What did I do? I took a 10mg valium and forgot about everything."

A valium would have been nice, but no avail. It's a good thing, because although it was a pretty hellish bus ride, it was fascinating. Indians really want to talk to me. They're intrigued. But the problem is that many of em don't speak English, so they just get close to you, stare, and ask you "where from?" That's about as far as most conversations get. Of course, when this happens, and a conversation is started, everybody leans in to hear the details. It's as if I have the answer to the science test or something. It's quite entertaining, really.

All was fine on the bus, until about 6 hours in. We're going up this mountain and all of a sudden there is this burst in the engine. The bus stops, and we sit on the side of this mountain for the next 2 hours while the driver tries to repair it. I have no idea what's going on, so I finally ask this one guy if he speaks English. He happens to be a tour guide in Udaipur. Yes! We talk for a couple of hours, and he's awesome. He tells me that they can't fix the engine cause they don't have a knife. I pull out my swiss army knife, and 10 mins later we're on our way. Lee Kline has just saved the day for 50 Indians.

The bus finally gets going again, and we all get back on. Nobody is looking at me too much anymore, and I think they agree that I'm ok in their book. 15 mins later, the bus stops again and everyone starts getting off the bus on the side of the mountain. My guide had hitched a ride and abandoned me, so I'm on my own. I follow everyone as they're getting off and onto another bus, apparently a replacement. I'm the last one on and spend the next 2 hours in the stairwell at the front. Again, with a packed bus, I'm the star attraction. An old man with a long beard who's smoking something odd gestures for to come up front and sit near him and the driver. There's a bit of an opening for me. I oblige, and now get to sit. But it's frightning up front watching the bus driver pass people and honk constantly. I'm starting to loose my sense of humor since it's been about 10 hours. When the fuck are we getting to Udaipur?? How much longer can it be? Ok, Lee, calm down. Where do you have to go anyway? I calm down and and relax when we finally pull over a hill and this view of Udaipur comes into view:

I took my camera out and tried to take a picture, but it wasn't working. So the bus driver sees this and actually stops the bus so I can get a good shot! Yeah, he stops the bus with 100 people on it just so I can get a shot. I lean out the window, point and shoot and duck back in. A man says to me "you get good?" I say "yeah, i got good."